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The Carousel Stray

by ILDIKO

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1.
Sorrow 02:45
Do you follow every light like there's a moon within? Does your heart beat as fast as your little wings? Are you trying to break mine by leaving? Do your eyes run deep like there's a lake beneath? Does the mist rise up every time you breathe? will drop me like an autumn leaf? do your lips run ink every time you drink? do you tend to disappear every time you blink? will you skip me like a stone to sink? do you weave a silver web round everyone you meet? do you spend the whole winter in a beauty sleep? are you waiting for the summer heat? light up my sky sweet firefly keep me from sorrow sweet sparrow
2.
Heavy Home 03:22
As the ocean night rolls in, the houses light parade begins We wonder what we should have been, if we had been swimming not sinking We dig our soles into the sand, the rolling hills its the edge of land, I know what we should have been, if we had been diving not destroying Meet me down by the lighthouse, where the river becomes a mouth, full of teeth and sharks and fish bone plaque and all the roads we'd never start again
3.
Body Parts 03:31
I went to go donate my organs but they said that nobody would want this heart, I think I've heard that line before. I argued all night with them but it was of no use, when its a matter of the heart you're screwed. Your mother didn't want you son and your father's forever on the run and your exgirlfriend lied when she said that you're the one. I'm pretty worried, you're getting married, I'm getting carried away with one night lovers, lipstick scribbled numbers on wet coasters and magazine covers. If it's true that our memories are stored in our body parts then she is surely buried in my, true that our memories are stored in our body parts then she is surely buried in my heart I'm pretty worried, you're getting married, I'm getting carried away with one night lovers, lipstick scribbled numbers on wet coasters and magazine covers.
4.
Ghost Track 02:38
A ghost at the train tracks asked me was I coming back I said I don’t believe in ghosts A junkie two seats behind me, asked with a wry smile, was that pretty ghost mine, could I spare a smoke for the ride? I said I don’t believe in ghosts, flickering memories or smoke at most Thinking all the while, if I lose I lose what is mine Running on parallel lines, polarised in time Is it a sign? You know I don’t believe in ghosts Flickering memories of loves lost host Won’t you please stop haunting me, let a dead love lie graciously
5.
This call don’t change a thing I still call you missing The late night calls don’t say where you’ve been We are growing thin I’ve been thinking I’ve been through this before The 4AM home coming queen Straight into the shower She’s got no time to tell you where she’s been I’ve been sinking Falling apart Gathered up in the bath I don’t know why I care For things I can’t repair But I’ve been counting On weather charts and false starts Shopping trolleys and purgatory A change of parts with a change of hearts Lovers swoon by a lovers moon The final plea by the rosewood tree A lover’s tune will be lost too soon Over me over the moon
6.
Brother was alarmed. When they brought the bodies, home Laid out on the lawn, left to bleed until dawn The sun rose up crimson, bleeding hearts will always swim In stories of lost love, and wine spilled on the sleeves of doves Its natural to want, to break your own heart in two So drop your dress around, your ankles and kiss me soft
7.
Tie a Ribbon 03:38
Tie a ribbon round your heart, the other end to your sleeve and make sure you don’t fall apart in shopping mall car parks Self help seminars, singing songs in your car, whistle whispered secrets, while we wait with our withered wills All of the keepers can’t keep you down come around, all I hear is white noise clowns, amalgamated white boy sounds Knock the sand from your shoes, shake away the gritty blues, Why do you think life is cruel whenever you see the ocean’s blue? water bottles on the road, labels washed off long ago, I wonder what they will do, when they’re depressed and 22 I can’t keep my head above the water line, I’m not fine, These intentions are all mine to nullify my stupid spine I wanna be like you, tall and thin with a reckless grin I wanna river to follow me, wherever I choose to be I wanna see the failed folk, choking on their hydro dope I wanna be the new big hope for synthetic pylon rope The dark dogs coming bladed up with a paper cup To catch the drips and feed them back through a funnelled ripped rib sack The blind are staring eyes beckoning to the other side To see my end is one thing, to be a messenger who sends His own letter is the win, you were once my good friend Take what you want, you low life big strife King of the scum, you teeth breaking rattle shaking Dealer by the drum, you hopeless mess of ghostly flesh bleaching in the sun, I can hear you come death give me three more weeks before I come undone I have seen your face, behind me as you hunt take what you want just let my girl run Cannonballs and cannibals Preservatives and Homemade pills Nerve gas, service tax Superbugs and kids on crack Radiation, depressed nations Online dates and race hate Tinned dog food and we’re all screwed 'cos battery hens ain’t the end Collect it all paper cups, and hang me up
8.
Serotonin 02:19
As I choke, on the phone You fall apart like shattered glass As if a bullet hit your brittle bone As if a full rip cord hung her at home You can’t forget, how you were So you accept the worst from her You’re sinking like two weighted, baited fishing wires Or helium balloons fated to a death spiral You say you don’t need another wandering heart follow me home So hold up the telephone, go alone. Go home. You make my serotonin link, I don’t moan as much to my shrink these days. But on the brink of home I think, we have burned black like India ink. I don’t want to spend another night, knocked out by a lovers fight. So when the warning wanes and we’re changing lanes I’ll remember you by, the cigarette lights
9.
Doctor tell me please why I cannot feel a thing. Tell me what is wrong with me are my medicines messing up again. She is sinking, I am swimming back to shore. She says I broke her, she was broken long before. My friend tell me please was she ever right for me? Or was I blind in time and searching for security? For three years she told me she loved me oh I never saw a thing. Then the die is rolled and it is out of my hands, it's out of my control. She is crying, I lay lying on her floor, the catatonic, comatose and the overdose. She is life like, I am still life at her door, and I steal breaths as I steel myself for a heartless war. She is sinking, I am swimming back to shore, she says I broke her, she was broken long before
10.
Priest 05:10
The priest is in the garden with his hand inside his cloak, he says 'hey I've got to go' the highest bough is roped. I know it's no use preaching to those that want to leave us, but I could not believe this, it was more Judas than Jesus. As he said 'I'd better go and eat supper at their table, I hope I'm not too early, oh lord am I still able?' So I left him there and it was written in the paper, they spoke of no ascension, he barely got a mention. Cos the trick is there's no angels for the pious that are broken, in prayers they go unspoken, no their hearts are never woken. But it evokes something in my veins, a terrible and violent pain, slumped in a fireplace, with sore arms from guarding my face. I wish that I could love you, I pray that we will stay true, but the beatings that she gave me, have scarred and they ain't healing. But sister don't you worry, I deserved mother's fury, I'll get better in a hurry. Sister Mary sits outside her kitchen window, her thoughts pass by so slow, she says 'I'd better go'. But I can't believe she'll do it, though I can believe she'll try. I guess we'll see in time, I guess it's what to die for. But it evokes something in my veins, a terrible and violent pain, slumped in a fireplace, with sore arms from guarding my face. I wish that I could love you, I pray that we will stay true, but the beatings that she gave me, have scarred and they ain't healing. But sister don't you worry, I deserved mother's fury, I'll get better in a hurry. I sit in my room and I blink on and off and my friends all say 'man you've finally lost'. So hang your hopes on silken ropes and destroy your loss I'm a little cross etc.
11.
Hey, hey, how far are we away, from imminent decay? Are we ahead, of monsters that we made, of dragons that we slay to escape, the atrophy of veins, the fear that we're insane, the motor function delay? As we slow dance we sway, do you mean this? do you mean this or do you play? I'm always losing games, I'm always wrecking trains on a slow dance decay. Hey, hey, are you still awake? Finish what you say, before you take, the heartache you make, the broken bones you break and bury them by the lake. The harrowed soul, the long walk home, just to be alone. As we slow dance we sway, do you mean this? do you mean this or do you play? I'm always losing games, I'm always wrecking trains on a slow dance decay.

about

This album is written and performed by:
Laurence Szucs -Acoustic/electric guitar, vocals
Michael Jenkins -Electric guitar, banjo
Peter Gravestock -Bass
Marius Abbott -Drums
Toby Marsh -Keyboard
Julia Busuttil -Back up vocals
Vanessa Round -Cello
J Walker -Piano, miscellaneous

Recorded and produced by J Walker
Mastered by Andy Stewart

credits

released November 2, 2012

Ildiko would like to thank J Walker for his support throughout the making of this album, especially the late nights worked in my absence and visits when I was unwell. Ralf Rehak for his incredible album artwork and constant inspiration (sorry bandcamp cropped it). Our families, in particular Thomas and Moira Szucs for their ongoing support and care. Friends and those who helped along the run, Thomas Lentini, Mike Radz, Audrey Thomas-Hayes, Michael Yuen, Angela Ashley-Chiew, Alex Ashley-Chiew, Robert Tomlian, Jo Thomas, Jon Ashley, Marc Nicholls, Graham Duncan, Mohamed Tahir, Dimity Slater, Ben O'Cianain, Luke Altmann, Joanna Kyriakakis, Ashley Dunsire, Andy Stewart, Haris Ashraff, Annisah Ibrahim. All the bands that have helped us out over the years, in particular The Orbweavers and Single Twin. Karen Tua Walker for the bed, tea, dinners and calming chats. Instrumental to the making of this record, Marley and Miila for playing soccer, dinosaurs, Lego and trampoline chasey in between takes at the studio. All of you and many more can't be thanked enough.

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ILDIKO Melbourne, Australia

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